Helsinki, November 2003. Entering the large and crowded banquet hall, I saw one remaining seat at a table far from the luncheon’s guest speaker, Henry Kissinger.
After Kissinger’s remarks, introductions were made at our table. Across from me was Pauli Jarvenpaa, who I learned was Head of the Policy Department at the Finnish Ministry of Defense. Beginning with the usual small talk, our conversation took an unusual turn when Pauli said he graduated from Harvard in 1973, the same year I had graduated from Yale. We subsequently discovered that during our freshman year, 34 years earlier and over 6000 kilometers from where we were at that moment, we had played against one another; he as a fullback on Harvard’s soccer team and me in the goal for Yale.
This was the beginning of a wonderful friendship. Soon after that day we started a sauna/dinner club that brought together an eclectic group of individuals to engage in wide-ranging, off-the-record discussions. It included foreign ambassadors, business executives, military officers, researchers and artists. We met every two months or so with each member taking a turn to host the group. Even while expat executives and ambassadors moved on to new assignments abroad, the group refreshed itself and continued for about eight years. Pauli, himself, left the country in 2010 when he was appointed Finland’s Ambassador to Afghanistan.
A strong supporter of Finland joining NATO well before it was fashionable to do so, I know it was gratifying to Pauli, as it was for so many Finns, that we joined the alliance in 2023.
Now retired, on December 23rd Pauli received a visit at his home by Finland’s President Alexander Stubb who awarded him the prestigious Knight, First Class, of the Order of the Lion of Finland for his exceptional service to Finland.
Four days later, Pauli and his wife Yan joined Harriet, me and our son Charly for dinner at our home to celebrate this well-deserved achievement. Congratulations, once again, my friend!
To think, if I had not found the one available seat at the back of the room twenty-one years ago, our friendship may never have happened.
Truly, “a stranger is a friend you haven’t met yet!”
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